4/15/2020

the feeling that i don't even know.

today i was binge these anime named ”honzuki no gekokujou” and ”violet evergarden”. these anime were managed to makes me head over heels and teared up. i cried so much that i made sounds of heavy breathe and my muscle faces feels hurt a bit.

these anime awaken me to feel something that i hadn't before. it's like i'm a new born baby that still need to learning how to open my eyes, babbling, eating, and all of these was... new for me.

from honzuki no gekokujou, i learned how to be independent as person. age doesn't matter but the most important is hardwork and motivation. you'll get throughout your own problems if you had thus two. i can't described it very well since i'm not really fluent talking using english, but this anime also told me about the importance of dream. you lived with dream, you die when you hadn't. and last is i learned how important to be around your family and people you loves, about happiness.

unfortunate, violet evergarden's here has no manga adaptation, but it has visual novel. i wanted to bought it for myself but i didn't know where so right now i just watch the anime. these anime was truly beautiful, the story line, the scenes, the dialogue, everything in there's just so beautiful. i also learned how important is to be able to convey your own feelings to someone else, also... to understand how deep the meaning of ”love” is. 

before i watched this anime, i always had these kind of thinking that love in anime or drama isn't real, it's so much different from love in real life, but... when i watched this anime, i know that everyone must be feeling this kind of love at least once in their life. you'll just know the meaning of love itself when you met someone's right, someone that might haunt you until you die. you can run, but you can't just escape. that kind of feeling of love.

i'm still thinking about this episode of violet evergarden. someone's mom fallen sick, she can life for short period, so she wanted to make letters for her daughter. the mom can't just stay still in bed while she knew about her illness and might go living her daughter alone, so she hire violet as ghostwriter to make her daughter letters. for weeks, they're able to make thus letters and it'll be send to her daughter every year at her birth day. eventhough her mom already gone now, she's still received letters from her mom until she's finally aged to fifthy. like a magic, it's like her mom's still there with her. then i realized just now that letters are something that you can't even tell the price is. in there, there's someone's feelings that poured and you just don't know what kind of faces their make just from a letter.

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