10/26/2014

Can I choose?


Assalammualaikum minna-chan! how are youu? ^-^
today, i don't know why i'm so lazy and not in mood to finish my homework -_-a
my activities today: in the morning, i just lying on my bed and watching tv until afternoon.
in the evening i watch anime and reading shoujo manga until i feel so dizzy and sleepy ~ zZzz =w=
and now, after reading manga, i feeling so envy with that chara because i want people like that chara have too TAT


and i remember the words i love in that....
"you can't choose the person you want to love with, but you can follow your heart and you'll happy because of it"
that words makes me feel so uneasy. it's really hurts because you can choose the person you want to love with. if we can, maybe no one hurts because of love. no one broken heart because of love. no one feel dissapointed because of  love. no one crying too much because of love. feeling free, and no pain in life.
i just thinking that.... i just want to choose someone i love who always care to me, love me more than anything, proud of me no matter what, very harmly, always remind me to Allah and it makes me more closely to Allah.
but... it's impossible. because i know, the words that chara say, it's 100% right!


it's really really impossible for someone to choose someone their love. because love is like some virus. it always suprising everyone who fallin with it.
and there is the words who make me wake up on my dreams.
"you are the real loser who always want happy ending in your life! it's too shameful because you can't face your life, your love, and your dreams with reality"


i don't know what should i write in the final part on the post.
sorry, i can't write the moral value about this post. but i hope minna-chan enjoying my post. thankyouu ~ ^o^)/

10/18/2014

why love in the real life not beautiful as shoujo manga?


Assalammualaikum!!! ohayo minna-chan ^-^)/ ~
nani shiteru no? this time, i just lying with my boyfriend. yeah, you're right! that is my bed--"

well, according to the theme, i'm going to tell you about things who always come on my wind. not bad things anyway, just annoying things from my mind--"
. . . annoying? why? just read my mind now!

minna-chan, do you even read a shoujo manga?
in shoujo manga, most of main chara is someone who are not interest, very ordinary, not perfect, just very opposite of the main chara couple a.k.a her crush (which is usually perfect). and rival of the main chara (which usually also perfect) who loves main chara crush is always do anything to get love from him '-' but in shoujo manga stories, definitely is a happy ending because the main chara will definitely get love of her crush.


the cool sides of manga shoujo is the power of love is conquers anything. it is like that chara not looking for someone face, someone perfection, rich, etc. but if it's connected with the real life, it seems very opposite.
many people in real life see someone just from perfection, demanding her partner to look perfect, loving someone just because of wealth that he had, etc. it's definetely different because i think it is not real love!!! >_<


because love is supposed to shoujo manga which pairs of chara is sacrifice.
and more cool sides of shoujo manga is all of main chara and her crush will definitely together.
and you know, what makes me excited when reading it? it was something like "please, go out with me", "will you marry me?", "i want to see you", "i just want you", etc.
and when the main chara was upset because her crush, a lot of words that makes me want to crying like "just look at me now", "yeah, i know. i know that you fallin' for her but not me", "i'm not perfect like her", "what should i do?", "why i remember him too much?", "i'm such a pain", "am i the worst?", etc.
and when the main chara getting hurt because her rival of love it words like "don't bother him anymore!", "it is all your fault!", "you just pain for him!", "go to hell and die!", etc. aaargh make me want to slice her mouth ~ 'w'


and what's on my mind... "why love in the real life is not as beautiful as shoujo manga?" and now i learn from shoujo manga. i know the answer is because....
"you're wrong because it is not your real partner" and "you don't fight for someone"

and if i connect that answer with my life, i have know why i'm always getting hurt because of my love. that answer is same. it's because i love wrong person or because i don't fight for that person. it's because i always give up for that person or it's because i always feel less than other girls.

so, to get your love, you must wait for your love.
fight for your love.
pray for your love.
don't give up so easily.
don't feel less than other girls.
and you will get happy ending like a shoujo manga ^-^

10/08/2014

About my old friends.

Assalammualaikum, readers-chan! jumpa lagi untuk yg kedua kalinya dengan saya, Renika hahahah (>▽<)✧
nee, kali ini aku mau story-story sedikit soal teman lama aku. rasanya kangen banget sama mereka semua!!! bukan hanya teman, tapi mereka itu kayak sahabat lama aku, yg ngertiin aku banget waktu dulu. huuuaaa gak ada lagi yg seperti mereka loh T^T

-TK sampai SD
waktu umur aku batita sampai balita, jujur aja, aku gak punya teman, kecuali saudara-saudara aku hahaha XD
aku setiap hari main sama saudara aku itu di halaman rumah mbah aku atau nggak jalan-jalan ke kompleks atau ke lapangan masjid alias Gasby.
kangen banget rasanya main ke lapangan Gasby itu, karena jujur aja, dari kecil sampai kelas 10 aku masih main disana.
tapi itu dulu banget sih hehe. kalau sekarang..... tinggal kenangan >_<


dulu, setiap tetangga aku lewat, aku sama dia selalu tatap-tatapan ganas gitu hahahah. kayak kucing garong ketemu sama kucing garong, pasti cakar-cakaran. kita selalu berantem kalo ketemu, kata-kataan, sampai kuncir rambut aku pernah dibuang sama itu tetangga aku. karena gak terima aku jenggut rambutnya dan akhirnya kita jadi pemain tinju deh hahahah -_-
nah, menariknya... perselisihan kami selesai alias end. karena waktu umur 5 tahun (TK O besar) tetangga aku masuk ke TK yg sama dengan aku. akhirnya aku beraniin diri buat ngajak dia main dan kita jadi akrab.
sejak saat itu, walau SD kami dan SMP kami tidak sama, tapi kami sering banget main. ke Masjid untuk mengaji bareng, main ke lapangan nonstop bareng, ngabuburit dan takbiran bareng, sampai mandi pun pernah bareng sama dia.
tapi.... semenjak SMA, kami tidak main lagi karena faktor jarak rumah kami yg jauh haha ^-^


-SMP
di SMP.... ah, banyak banget sahabat disana menurut aku. hmm, sahabat pertama aku itu sebutlah inisialnya E. si E itu different banget sama aku. dia itu bawel, suka dandan, betawi banget, ngomongnya asal, ngomongin nya soal cowok mulu hahah XD
tapi.... dia selalu ngerti aku, dia moodbooster aku banget. dia juga humoris. yaaa dia the best lah kalo menurut aku >w<)/✧ 
ciri khas dia, kemana-mana bawa kaca yg ada sisirnya, suka bawa kipas, dll hahahah. dan aku inget banget pas dia ultah aku selalu kadoin dia hal yg berbau aksesoris. karena dia suka banget aksesoris, sama kayak aku dulu sih. tapi aku gak suka kalung, gelang, cincin, anting kayak dia. aku cuma suka bando sama jepitan aja hahah.


next...
sahabat aku di SMP selain dia yaitu, inisial L. dia itu best sahabat ever kalo menurut aku hahah. karena sampai sekarang, aku kalo ada masalah ceritanya cuma sama dia. karena sampai saat ini cuma dia yg tau aku kalo marah itu ciri-cirinya kayak apa, walau gak keliatan sama orang. dan dia tau lemah dan cengengnya aku. dia juga tau sabar dan kuatnya aku. dia tau semuanya.
ciri-ciri dia, rada tomboy, mukanya manis, dia suka pakai jam atau sepatu cowok, dia suaranya bagus, makanya aku selalu minta nyanyiin lagu pas aku lg belajar sama dia. dia the best chairmate aku!!! TwT
dan sedihnya, dia suka sama orang yg lebih dewasa dari dia. kadang pengen rasanya ngecilin umur pria itu supaya sebaya sama sahabat aku, si L itu. karena si L sering banget kena jebakan mautnya pria itu. aku sebel dan gak tega. tapi sebagai sahabatnya, apapun keputusan dia aku dukung maksimal sampai dia bener-bener butuh saran aku. sabar ya L, you are the strongest girl which i have never seen before T//T)/ ~ /pukpuk


next...
sebut aja sahabatku ini I. si I itu tuh, gemesin, gendut, humoris banget, suka ngomongin anime sama aku, k-poppers, seru dan asik, gak comel, pokoknya baik banget!!!
aku sama dia dulu juga sering ngebolang ke taman Apel sampai nyasar dan itu jalan kaki hahahah. dia itu temen curhat pertama aku loh. soalnya maklum aja, aku gak terbuka sama siapapun. selalu mendam ini itu. dia ini yg paling sabar kalo dengerin aku. aku suka ketawa kalo dengerin dia cerita soal pria XD
dan aku pernah rame-rame nyeplokin dia di lapangan. aksi telur pertama itu dari aku loh!! dan itu tuh dibuat videonya + fotonya, sumpah itu lucu banget. dianya jelek abizzz hahaha


next....
inisial the last, Y, A, Le, F, tapi panjang banget hahah. so aku ceritain mereka sedikit aja ya.
Y itu orangnya super jenius. guru bagi aku. motivator aku karena dia itu saingan aku dalam pelajaran. dia temen les aku dan ngertiin aku. sabar banget ngajarin aku yg lola ini. asik banget. dia kecil tapi keren. love banget sama si Y :*
A itu baik, aku gak terlalu deket sama dia, tapi dia gak pelit sama temen, dia suka nraktir aku, L, Le, F, I sama Y. dia itu penyuka anime juga dulu. aku pernah ketawa chat sama dia soal pria yg dia suka. dia jujur sama orang lain, karena mungkin menurut dia jujur di awal better than jujur di akhir. aku juga cinta sama dia :')
Le itu orangnya unik. pesek, jenong, lucu, humoris, suka nyanyi kayak si L, tapi ratunya galau dan puitis banget. dia itu orangnya sedikit moodyan juga hahah. tapi dia juga gak pelit kayak si A. dia baik dan pintar kayak Y. kangen bawelnya dia kadang kalo inget masa-masa SMP hahaha.
last, si F. dia itu lucu banget, rambutnya keriting, matanya sipit, kulit hitam. dia itu pekerja keras, karena dulu rumah dia itu jauh dari SMP, dia selalu berangkat setengah 6. dia baik dan humoris. dia selalu nempel sama si A kayak perangko sama surat. dia juga asik diajak cerita walau aku jarang curhat sama dia. dia the best juga kayak yg lainnya :'*


nah, itu tadi cerita sahabat aku. bagaimana dengan readers-chan? nostalgia tidak selalu menyakitkan loh hahaah ^-^)a
jaa ne ~

No one. but Allah can.


Assalammualaikum minna-san! hisashiburi desu ne? ogenki desuka? watashi iie desu ^-^
entah kenapa hari ini rasanya aku terlalu banyak pikiran. rasanya mau meledak kayak bom bali hahahah.


pftt, biarpun aku ini dibilang "sabar banget", biarpun aku ini dibilang "gak pernah marah", tapi kali ini aku rasa berbeda.
karena hari ini, aku berada di titik jenuh diri aku. sama kayak larutan jenuh di kimia hahaha ^-^v


manusia itu punya emosi. siapapun orangnya, pasti pernah mengalami puncaknya. dan menurut aku itu sakit. karena mungkin aku jarang mengalami kali ya makanya rasanya itu sakit.
dan di saat emosi itu telah di puncaknya, rasanya pasti campur aduk. sedih iya, bete iya, kesel dan marah iya, mau nangis iya, dan rasanya kayak semua orang itu sama dan gak akan pernah ngerti. bener kan ya? hahah. Astaghfirullah rasanya gak baik banget sebenernya ya hahaha -//-

tapi, maaf. aku cuma mau cerita soal itu aja kok. karena dengan cerita sama blog, aku jadi ngerasa ada yg dengar cerita aku. walau sebenernya gak ada satupun yg dengar, gak ada satupun yg ngerti, rasanya sangat bingung bersandar ke siapa dan mencari orang yg benar-benar peduli kemana. that's too impossible........................ TuT
namun, karena ada Allah, aku mencoba sadar. kalo gak ada yg ngerti kita selain Allah. bahkan kadang diri kita sendiri gak bisa ngerti maunya hati kita sendiri....
ya Allah remind me to always smile and pray to you. remind me to stronger than yesterday because you always give me support to standing. thanks Allah for always be my sunshine. no one understand me, but you can. i'm sooooo lucky!!!!!!! >_<
tidak teman, tidak sahabat, tidak siapapun. hanya engkau :")